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Holiday Stress Part II

Do you ever feel like the days are moving so quickly that you haven’t stopped to even notice how you or your child are really doing?

We all pay attention to big emotions, our own and our childrens but what about everything in between?

The holiday season brings about so many emotions and experiences so if you don’t already have a “talking time” in place with your child now is a great time to start! Talking time helps to slow things down so there is space in the day to check in with your child.

 

Talking time is important everyday but can be very helpful to gauge how your child is managing all of the ups and downs holidays can bring. This allotted time provides a time where they can count on being listened to. 

Listening can be really hard especially if your child is facing a difficult challenge and you feel like you have “solutions” that you want to give. Think of talking time as a practice of listening until your child asks for your help or you sense that is what they need. 

Some children actually do best with only a little bit of talking so you might use a rating scale of one to ten to express how their day was overall. You could also try a thumbs up/thumbs down form of communication. 

Have a set “Talking Time” every day so it becomes part of your child’s routine flow. For teens you may want this time to be when you know you will be in the car or when they are getting ready to go to bed. Standing outside of a bathroom door can work well for those who don’t really want to talk at all!

If they don’t have anything to add during “Talking time,” try asking the following questions: What was the best part of your day?  What was something you didn’t like about today?  What are you looking forward to?  There is never any need to feel like a two minute conversation wasn’t successful because any amount of time is just right for that day!

Expectations for adults as well as children are too often amped up during the holiday season.  This year try out establishing a “talking time” and this doesn’t just have to be a time spent with your child. Maybe you are going to give yourself the gift of a conversation with yourself to see how you are feeling each day 🙂 

 

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Mom's Choice, ADDA, CHADD, ACO

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