Our Favorite Parenting Strategy
Our absolute favorite parenting strategy is the “redo”. This is where the learning happens for both us and our children. And you can use it forever!
Did you know that your IQ drops significantly when you are stressed, angry, anxious, or upset? This explains those moments of saying or doing something without slowing down to think it through. I think we can all relate to saying something we didn’t mean! This is a challenge for many but when you add on ADHD it may happen even more. Consider the emotional ups and downs that cause these drops in IQ and understand that impulsive outbursts may happen quite frequently until strategies for slowing down are learned.
We always say parenting is not about being perfect, so please don’t fall into the comparison trap. It serves no purpose to strive for perfection when it has no positive impact on your child.
A “redo” is all about learning to grow and develop as a person. It is a way to learn how to slow our brains down and our child’s brain so that we can actually consider what just went wrong and what to do instead.
So how does it work? It works just like it sounds when you or your child say something you didn’t mean or words come out differently than intended, a redo is allowed, which is essentially a second chance to respond appropriately.
There are boundaries with using redos though. Redos are never allowed for extreme disrespect or any physical outbursts. Redos are solely the answer to impulsive reactions.
Your definition of extreme disrespect might look different than your neighbor’s and that is okay. Here is a list of behaviors that typically qualify as a redo (these include both you and your child):
- Giving attitude
- Talking back
- Losing your cool
You will want to have a conversation with your child about using the cue word “redo” before you begin using it. You can explain that it will be used by each of you and that it might take some practice to get used to having this immediate opportunity to pause and try again. Over time this strategy helps everyone’s brain slow down and think before saying or doing something inappropriate. The opportunity to learn how to use this simple strategy to pause and think is a gift!
Try it out and comment here on how its going 🙂
P.S. We have a new audio guide! Our Four Step Guide to Creating an ADHD Treatment Plan