Strengthening Executive Functioning in ADHD Teens: A Parent’s Guide to Better Organization and Focus
Last summer, when we met Sarah and her mom, Lila, their frustration was evident. Both were overwhelmed—not just by the pandemic, but also by the struggle to keep up with schoolwork. Lila felt like all she did was nag, while Sarah, despite her efforts, wasn’t seeing positive results.
This frustration wasn’t entirely new. Ever since middle school started, Sarah had been struggling more with organizing her materials, completing work on time, and managing her emotions.
When Sarah was in 6th grade, Lila spoke to her teachers, who reassured her that this was a transition year and Sarah would eventually develop the necessary skills. By 7th grade, the narrative shifted to Sarah needing to “try harder.” It wasn’t until 8th grade that one of her teachers finally acknowledged that Sarah needed more support, warning that without learning these skills, school and life could become increasingly difficult. This scared Lila, whose relationship with her daughter was already strained by constant sighing, yelling, crying, and eye-rolling.
While some of these challenges are developmental, they were compounded by weakened executive functioning skills.
Understanding Executive Functioning Skills
The first step in helping Sarah and Lila was to help them both understand what executive functioning skills are. Without this understanding, meaningful change is impossible. Most people think of organization as something purely physical, like keeping materials in order. However, it’s also about how the mind processes and breaks tasks into logical steps. When executive functioning skills are weak, the brain struggles to organize incoming information, causing it to “swirl” chaotically. If you observe closely, you can often see this mental “swirling” in action.
Identifying and Addressing the “Swirl”
We challenge you to observe your child and notice signs of this “swirling.” Once identified, you can help your child by asking open-ended questions about the task at hand. For instance, if your child has a pile of homework but seems stuck, you might ask, “What is your plan?” This simple question helps the brain shift from feeling overwhelmed to creating a plan.
These questions activate the part of the brain responsible for logic, reasoning, and planning. Initially, you may need to assist your child in forming a plan. Over time, as their executive functioning skills strengthen, they’ll become increasingly adept at this on their own.
Building Executive Functioning Skills
The good news is that executive functioning skills can be taught and strengthened with purposeful, consistent effort. These skills are not just short-term fixes but essential tools for lifelong success. To support your child’s growth, it’s crucial to practice these strategies regularly.
For more tips and guidance on fostering strong executive functioning skills, check out our Essential Executive Functioning Guide for Parents and our ADHD Parenting Blueprint.
